Airing My Dirty Laundry

Kelly Ripa, are you listening?

I see you flitting around in the Electrolux commerical doing your "dirty" laundry in 36 minutes, all the while being "even more amazing."




I would like to do my laundry in 36 minutes. I would like to be even more amazing.

But have you seen my laundry? Please refer to Figure A.

Figure A: The dirt-covered jeans worn by the little man last weekend.

The caked-on dirt covered the entire surface of the jeans. They could practically stand up on their own. Let's just say it took longer than 36 minutes, thankyouverymuch. In the time it took to pre-treat, scrub, wash, rewash, and dry, the little man had time to dirty yet another pair of jeans. See figure B.

Figure B: Yet another pair of filthy jeans worn by the little man last weekend.

Upon first glance, this pair of jeans doesn't look quite as bad as the first pair. But that isn't dirt, my friends. That is honest to goodness cow manure.

In my washing machine.

*sigh*

Electrolux, have your people call my people. Momma needs a second washing machine.

Spring Break, Day 5

What a great last day of Spring Break! Once again, the weather cooperated. It was a gorgeous 58 degrees and sunny with just the right amount of breeze to keep it cool.

After picking the kids up from their sleepover, we headed to the park.

We enjoyed lunch on the bridge, took a walk, and stopped to rest and swing.

Then we fed the ducks and geese some bread and crackers. They were very grateful for their midday snack.


Once the bread was gone, we headed back home.


We spent the rest of the day enjoying the beautiful weather.

We chalked.
And of course, rode tractors.


It's hard to believe Spring Break 2010 is over. I am so thankful everyone was healthy, the weather was amazing, and we got to spend lots of time playing and enjoying ourselves.

And now? The countdown to summer is on.
ZFP97GEABSDP
51 days, baby!

Spring Break, Day 4

Weather: 60 degrees and sunny! Woot!

Sleepover day! The kids packed and packed (OMG did they pack!) everything they own, basically, and lugged it into the back of the car. We had 2 bikes, a big baby doll stroller, a small doll stroller, 3 suitcases, an overnight bag, a bag of extra shoes, a bag full of toys, 4 blankies, 2 stuffed animals, and one small backpack with Leapsters and assorted toys.


Did I mention this was for one night?


We finally headed out to Aunt Susie's house. We had a yummy lunch at Bucceto's. Then we went to Wonderlab, an awesome kids' science museum. The Little Miss climbed to the very top of this very cool grape leaf climbing thingamajig. Cole chickened out about 3 feet into it.


They had a snake out for kids to pet. Cole informed me that it looked poisonous and was NOT going to touch it. He settled for making a paper plate snake at the craft table. Heh.

Doesn't he look like Elmer Fudd in that mirror?!

After the museum, the kids went back to Aunt Susie's to spend the night while I drove back home. It was so awesome to drive home with the sunroof open, windows down, and radio cranked up!

I got all prettied up and waited for the husband to come home.

Notice my clever use of the daisy frame to draw attention away from my dark roots. The appointment is scheduled. I promise.

We had dinner and went to the movies! Do you know how long it has been since we went to the movies together? A very long time! We saw Cop Out with Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan. It was kind of slow, but had some very funny parts.

We got home from the movie, had some wine, and then there may have been a little brown chicken, brown cow.

And if you get that, you are my new best friend. It is my favorite joke of.all.time.

Tomorrow will be Spring Break, Day 5. Wahhh! I am not ready! Could we just fast forward to June 2, please? Thankyouverymuch.

Spring Break, Day 3

Weather: 58 degrees and sunny! Blue sky and sunshine: It does a body good!


Highlights: We had a wonderful day at home! We spent the morning coloring and doing crafts. After lunch with Grandma at a Mexican restaurant, we headed to Rural king for some popcorn, toys, and to stare longingly at the chicks and ducklings.


We spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening outside. The weather was amazing!


We drove through the yard picking up sticks and other people's litter. Well, the kids did. I sat on the Gator and supervised. The dogs helped me supervise and soaked in all the warm sunshine.


The Little Miss played mommy to her baby dolls in her new double stroller from Grandma.

And she finally figured out how to ride her big-girl bike! There's no stopping her now!


You can usually judge how great a day it was based on the level of dirt on a certain little boy.


Apparently, it was a very good day.

Spring Break Day 2

Weather: 55 degrees and sunny!

Fun factor: I took a MOMMY day! Kids went to the sitter's house as they close daycare during spring break. This is a win-win for everyone. Mommy gets some much needed alone time. Kids get to play in a new place with new toys.

Highlights: First stop-Starbucks. BTW, the new dark cherry mocha? To.die.for. Please try it. You can thank me later.

After Starbucks, I headed to Target. Hello 75% off clearance! I got great deals on rulers and highlighters for school. I got some super cheap stationary, gift bags, and tissue paper. And they had some plain long-sleeve shirts on clearance for the Little Miss!

After Target I made my rounds to Dress Barn and Kohl's. No luck there, but it was fun to look around without anyone whining or hiding in the racks of clothes. Not that MY children ever do that. MY children are always right next to me, patiently and quietly waiting for me to shop at my leisure. *eyeroll*

Next stop, Flower Factory. They were remodeling and things were kind of a mess. Lots of yellow caution tape and empty racks. I did get a couple more book baskets for school and a few Easter basket goodies.

Lunch: Panera! Cream of chicken with wild rice soup, 1/2 turkey and artichoke sandwich.

Evening: I managed to finish The Help while the kids had swim lessons. Awesome book, BTW. I highly recommend it! After lessons, the kids had dinner. Once daddy got home, we played a card game called Higher or Lower that Cole taught us! It was really neat to have him explain this school game to us...and it was really fun!

Then the kids went to bed (while it was still light out, I might add. I hate this time change!) Hubby and I had a homemade pasta dish with linguini, asparagus, mushrooms, onions, tomatoes, garlic, cheese, cream, and butter. It's very lo-cal!

Then we suffered through American Idol. What is UP with this season? No one is really any good...they're all so boring and blah. I am thinking this could be the last season for the show if it doesn't improve.

Wednesday's plan? Stay home and let the kids play outside while I get some work done around the house. Wish me luck!

Spring Break, Day 1

Weather: 44 degrees, overcast, light drizzle

Fun Factor: Bouncertown!

Highlights: We had a great trip to Bouncertown. The kids bounced, slid, and ran through the obstacle course. We played a few games and walked out with some prizes.

The hour ride to and from was actually not too bad! There was a small amount of yelling and arguing, but the majority of the time it was pretty peaceful. Thank you, Leapster.

We watched the grain leg being taken down. I snuck out every once in awhile to get some pictures, but it was so cold and rainy! The little man was glued to the window watching the action. The new leg should be up soon!

Lunch: TGI Fridays. Kids had mac n cheese, I had toastado nachos. Eh.

Evening: Kids got a bath. We played Toy Story Yahtzee. A couple of books later, lights were out by 7:30. Hubby and I had leftover pulled pork BBQ, watched Pawn Stars, and I was in bed by 9:30.

What a wonderful first day of Spring Break!

iWashed an iPod

Silver iPod Shuffle, 4 years old, died suddenly and unexpectedly at her home on Sunday. Cause of death: accidental drowning. She was the original iPod of John Deere Mom, but more recently, happily occupied the ears of the Little Miss. She is survived by a brother, green iPod Shuffle and a younger sister, black iPod Shuffle.


Online condolences may be made at Apple.

Memorial contributions may be made to the iPod replacement fund, care of John Deere Mom.

Hello Spring Break!

It's officially Spring Break!

This is where I had intended to post a fun little Spring Break picture. But googling "spring break" only results in half-naked girls doing shots off of each others' bellies while drunk college guys high-five each other in the background. So, um, just pretend there's a cute little picture of a happy teacher at home with her kids on spring break!

Luckily the boy's school and my school have the same schedule! We are looking forward to:

• Bouncertown
• Going to see a movie (Not Alice in Wonderland, in case you're wondering!)
• Having a kid-free day to clean, shop, and enjoy Starbucks and Panera "all myself!"
• Having a night alone with the husband while the kids have a sleepover with Aunt Susie
• Hopefully having a playdate with these good people
• Children's Museum
• And last but not least, pretending Daylight Savings Time doesn't exist!
  

Now if you will excuse me, I have floors to mop, furniture to dust, and laundry to finish so that I can enjoy my week off without those chores hanging over my head!

Just When

Just when I think that...

*my students are no longer listening

*they are more concerned about the opposite sex than science

*they just don't care

*I am just another boring teacher talking down to them

*all they hear is




something happens.

A big, bad sixth grader brings me a gift.



A shirt. A perfect shirt.


And he lets me hug him. In front of his friends!

And that? Just makes me

Reason #73 Why I Don't Like Johnny Depp

Can you say creepy?