Anatomically Correct

This summer, I took the kids to the zoo. The walrus was definitely the highlight of the trip. This walrus is some kind of big. And he is a major lover. Down in the observation area, he would swim right up to the glass and love all over the kids. He was showing off and floating cheek to cheek with the kids through the glass.



And then? I noticed just how much of a lover he actually was.


Holy huge walrus penis!

As I was trying desperately to ignore it, despite the giggles from the other adults around, I heard my daughter (loudly) exclaim,

"Woah! Look at that big giant peepee!"

My son followed with an even louder,

"WOW! His peepee is even bigger than daddy's...and daddy's got a pretty big peepee!"

Everyone within a 10 foot radius heard their rather enlightening conversation and burst into laughter.

Even later, when we stopped for an early dinner, the kids could not quit talking about the giant peepee.

Fast forward a few months...

Last week, Cole and I were working on a drawing for part of his homework. We were supposed to be drawing a whale. The Little Miss decided to draw a whale of her own. After seeing it, I said, "Baby! That's so good! It looks just like a walrus!"

Her eyes lit up.

A light bulb went on above her head.

She grabbed the crayon in her grubby, little hand and ran off into the other room. A few seconds later, she came screaming back in, "Ta da! His big giant peepee!"


I am dreading W week in preschool.

Five

My baby turned five today! Anyone know how to stop time? If so, please let me know immediately! Here is a quick look at the Little Miss through her first five years.


Happy birthday, my sweet girl! I hope the next 5 years go by slower than the first 5 have!

iWant

I rarely shop for myself. Sure, the occasional pair of shoes or purse may find their way into my closet, but I can justify those as needs. *snort*

But things I don't truly need (like the 62nd pair of shoes or yet another blue purse) just aren't things I spend money on.

But it's fun to look.

Lately it seems my "wants" are all iWants. Like this iPod. Oh my. Look.at.this.new.nano.

I literally said, "Awwwwww" when I saw it...like I was looking at a newborn baby. Are you kidding me?! It's so freaking adorable! And to be honest, an iPod is kind of needed around here. You might remember iWashed one Shuffle. And Cole has "misplaced" his Shuffle. The only one left among the living around here is the new Shuffle I bought for the husband. But it was the "new" version which, quite frankly, sucks monkey balls.

So yeah, iWant this.

I also want an iPhone. Mostly because my sister has one. And my lame touch-screen-iPhone-wanna-be is having issues. And it's small. And I drop it a lot. Which I am sure is a design issue and has nothing to do with the user. *snort*


Look how sleek and lovely. And all the apps? Well, let's just say an iPhone with bubble wrap would make staff meetings a lot more enjoyable.

But guess what? My phone contract is up on Friday...this Friday!!!!! This iWant may just turn into an iHave soon! Squeee!

We shall now move from the iPossibilities to the iHavenochance portion of this post.

The iPad.

Seriously, I just want to stroke it. And rub it all over. I have no real need for one other than...my sister has one.

I am sensing a common theme around here.

Anyway, it's wonderful and smooth and iCovet it.

And then there's this.


*sigh*

A real camera would be oh-so-nice. Do I need one? Um, no. Not at all. But a girl can dream, right? I would almost enjoy reading through the user manual as much as actually using the camera.

Because iAm a big dork.

The end.

Harvesting Corn, Kid Style

It's nearly harvest time around here. The kids decided to get an early start. They grabbed a wheelbarrow and made their way to the nearest corn field. And the picking commenced.

Oh, no! Was that one of the guys? Do you think they saw us taking the corn?


Shhh. Let's stand here very quietly and maybe they won't notice us.


Always the daredevil, the Little Miss ventures out to drop another ear off into the wheelbarrow.


Abort, abort! Here they come!


When the coast is clear again, they decide to count their losses and haul what they have to the "barn."


Here they begin shelling the corn, putting the grain into the grain cart. By hand. This is a time consuming process that mommy loves.





Because little hands taking the kernels off one by one keeps kids occupied and quiet for a l-o-n-g time.