1. Walk all hunched over with your shopping cart, pushing it with your arms with your big ol' butt sticking out. Do you not have the energy to walk upright through the store?
2. Pull out in front of me only to immediately slow down to turn. Could you not just wait until I was past you?
3. Forget to give me napkins and/or straws in the drive-thru. There are certain guarantees in life. Getting napkins with your food should be one of them.
4. Give me a dirty look when my kids are b-e-g-g-i-n-g in their most annoying voices in the seasonal aisle at Wal-Mart. I am sure your kids never acted in such a way. Think you could do better? Try. I would be more than happy to let you shop with them for an hour.
5. Bag my groceries with no rhyme or reason. My greeting card with my frozen pizza and frozen broccoli? Um, no. It was wet when we got home, thankyouverymuch. 16 canned goods with 3 glass jars of jelly in one plastic bag? Hello?! Chasing cans of soup through the parking lot when the bag bust is not exactly what I had planned for the day.
6. Calling my cell phone by mistake and getting all pissy with me as if it is my fault. Seriously. You called me.
And now for a funny. When I was at my sister's house this weekend, I may have had an entire bottle of Oliver Soft Red wine all by myself in a short amount of time. And I may have started a post entitled,
Spring Break Tipsy
of which I have no recollection. I apparently passed out before I could really get much typed but I kind of wish I had typed more. That would have made for a very funny read. We'll have to settle for the title which is cracking me up.
