Say hello to my little friends

Everyone, I'd like you to meet the newest additions to our family. Meet Coach and Kate."Nice to meet you."

*Sigh.* Aren't they beautiful?

My mom, aunt, cousin, and I went to a big flea market about 45 minutes away. The number of "designer" purse booths was astounding. I could barely contain myself. Even more exciting was that my dad (have I mentioned I am spoiled?) sent along some spending money for me which more than covered my purse purchases. The nice Jamaican Coach and Kate Spade salesmen were more than happy to give me a good deal.

Now I have to decide which to carry first. Decisions, decisions.

Bits and Pieces

Haven't had time to blog yet this week so here is an assortment of goings-on at the casa de John Deere Mom.

Got a letter from Cole's preschool teacher. I think there must have been a mix up because I JUST brought him home from the hospital like yesterday. Surely he isn't old enough for preschool yet. Sigh. Definitely had some mixed emotions with that one. Obviously, he will be fine and is definitely ready for it. The logistics of the thing couldn't be simpler. His current daycare will walk him across the street for pre-school three mornings a week. Easy like a zucchini martini. But still...he's my baby. Hmpf.

We had craft time today. Hobby Lobby had their "foam" craft products 30% off so I bought the kids each a dorky little visor and foam stickers and told them to go to town.

Here they are before we got started.

During the sticker extravaganza. Notice my clever use of the garbage bowl for the sticker backing.

And after.

Little Miss looks so pensive in this shot....but she's actually trying to see her stickers on the underside.

Cole had his second all-time dentist appointment today. Admittedly I was a bit behind and this should have been his 3rd appointment, but time got away from me. He did amazingly well. They cleaned, polished, brushed with flouride, and flossed. Then the denist checked him and said everything looked great. We walked out with a ton of loot and hit Starbucks for a celebratory vanilla milk.

Getting his teeth polished.

Little Mess was very quiet throughout the visit, taking it all in....planning her tantrum when it's her turn in a couple months.

Here he is holding "Mr. Slurpy." I wonder if I'm the only psycho ever to have taken pictures during a dental exam.

I was giddy with all the comments in the You Say Tomato game. It was so fun to hear everyone's version of the same thing! Ya'll were definitely varied in the "soda" department. It's funny how many of you (I think in the South) call everything Coke, then specify which drink you actually want! And I LOVE how ya'll say buggy for a shopping/grocery cart. Around here, this is the only buggy you will find.

I worked in my classroom for the first time on Monday. I was a little stressed when I got there. I think I started about 20 projects at the same time. I would start one thing, walk across the room, see something else that needed done, and start on it. I did get all the desks moved, the new language arts materials unpacked and sorted (all 50 million boxes) and all the textbooks passed out. I got my desk kinda, sorta organized. Did 2 of 8 bulletin boards. Actually, one is staying the same. So 3 down....5 to go. I brought a bunch of stuff home that needs kids' names written like name tags, bulletin board things, lunch stuff, etc. but did I bring my class list home? Uh, no.

Oh well, this way I get to sit here with you nice people and drink. My current drink? Diet grape soda with a little splash of vodka. Okay, it was a big splash. More like a "CANNONBALL!" splash. But it is oh.so.good.

If you want to play a little guessing game with my sister and her out of control driving habits, click here. If not...well, I'm sorta done here. Go make yourself a grape soda vodka. You'll thank me tomorrow.

You say tomato, I say, um...tomato

One thing I did find interesting in my class this week was talking to other people from other areas of the state, and in a couple of cases, from different states. I love hearing how people speak differently, especially when someone uses another name for an object. For example, one man's truck is another man's pickup. You might call a cemetary a graveyard. I think often times location and generation have a lot to do with our words...and sometimes it's just personal preference.

Since ya'll (see, there's one right there!) are from all over the country, I'd love to hear your word choices for these objects. So, look at each picture and leave a comment with your name for the object. I am anxious to hear your responses. I'd also love to hear from people outside of the U.S. (Karen, that'd be you.)

And if no one participates, I will cry. Please don't make me cry on my summer vacation.

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3. (evening meal)

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And the award goes to...

Me! Several times, actually. Ya'll know how to make a girl feel good. And being that this is not my favorite week with class and all, the awards are extra special. I got this sparkly little number from Z's mom, Mrs. Parks, and Christine at SippyCupsandBlackberries! Thank you, ladies. I love them. All three of them. Equally. I would hate to have the love stop here. It would be like how I feel when I get a chain letter or recipe chain thing. I never participate, but I feel guilty about it. For a minute. Anyway, I think the following three blogs (since I got three of these awards, I figured three was a good number to give) deserve this award because they are brillante. Or brilliant. Okay, they're brillante and brilliant. So go check them out.

Engaging Susie. Okay, this is really just a way to get you to go check out my baby sister who JUST started her blog. She's very cute and smart and pretty and funny. Yeah, you'll hate her...but in a good way.

Captain Pork Chops. She is also brilliant. And if you catch her on a good day, she's even brillante.

Stretch Marks. I found her through SITS and love reading her blog. She is funny, caring, strong in her faith, and I love that she calls her husband the "Attorney General." Maybe he really is the Attorney General. Then I guess it wouldn't be so funny. Attorney General or not, go check her out.

Thursday Thirteen

In an effort to completely stress myself out, here are thirteen things I need to do before school starts.

1. Figure out how I am going to teach both 4th grade and 5th grade at the same time.
2. Arrange my desks.
3. Make bulletin boards (all 8 of them.)
4. Read the 4th grade standards.
5. Figure out the newly adopted reading series.
6. Make welcome packets for Open House.
7. Make copies of first week stuff.
8. Decide how I am going to teach spelling.
9. Write out all the "name" things like lunch sticks, recording sheets, posters, name tags, etc.
10. Plan out my science units so I can teach science to all the students at the same time.
11. Plan what journals I am going to have the class use.
12. Make survival bags.
13. Get a prescription for Xanax. It sounds like I might need it...

Bueller? Bueller?

Day 3 of my class. It pretty much looked like this the majority of the day.



The class has been so boring I have had way too much time to sit and miss my kids. When I am teaching, I barely have a second to breathe, go to the bathroom, or collect my thoughts. Thankfully, that keeps me from missing my kids who are in daycare 30 minutes away. This class, however, does not keep me busy enough.

On a brighter note, I did keep my feet out of the toilet....and although vodka might have made the day more enjoyable, I did not sneak any into my water bottle.

Note to self: Bring vodka Thursday.

Wordless Wednesday

While the girls work...the boys play.
(Can you read his shirt? It says, "Play in the dirt.") How appropriate!

Three days to go...

Day two of my week-long class proved to be just as rip-roaring fun as Day 1. (Can you sense the sarcasm?) My instructor is a 60+ year old retired male high school calculus teacher. Let's just say it's difficult for me to relate.

He is in a room full of 17 elementary school women, 1 elementary male teacher, and 2 high school male art teachers. Do you know what we ALL have in common? We are there because we NEED to be there for recertification. Not so much because we want to be there. It's one of those classes you take because it is short, nearby, and relatively inexpensive (compared to other graduate classes.)

And God love the man, he tries. He gives us plenty of breaks, lots of great snacks, and has let us out early so far both days. But we are pretty awful as a group. Teachers are the worst students. We like to talk, get side-tracked, start chatting with another teacher of the same grade level, and pretty soon we get lost in our own little world. Each time the poor man tries to get someone to read, everyone is either asleep, in the bathroom, or has a mouthful of chocolate.

But do you know what else he gives us? Homework. I have roughly 10 assignments I need to get done this week. I work best under pressure, which explains why I am typing this post as opposed to typing my response to another mind-numbing article I just read.

It hasn't been without some comedy. I have been accused several times of sneaking vodka into my water bottle. (Who, me?!) I was moved from the "blue bird" group to the "buzzard" group for asking to go home early. (Hey, it worked didn't it?!)

Then there was the little mishap in the bathroom. I tend to use my foot to flush public restroom toilets. Ladies, do you know what I'm talking about? Well, this particular toilet in a kids' restroom at this school has one of those flat, circular flusher buttons just above the bowl. After taking care of my business (luckily it wasn't a major transaction) I went to flush the toilet.

Well, I lost my balance and my foot went INTO the toilet. Yep, I got a little toilet "water" on my sandal and foot. My only saving grace is that this was a "one seater" restroom so I was able to recover from my embarrassment quickly, give the foot a good wash in the sink, and walk out with my head held high.

I can barely wait to see what tomorrow has in store for me.

A Little Taste of Reality

Since school let out on May something or other, I have had to set my alarm clock once. Yes, one time in 2 months I have had somewhere to go. This week, however, my alarm will be set every.single.day for a class I am taking to renew my teaching license. So not only will the kids and I be getting up early, the laundry will pile up, dishes will sit in the sink, and dinners will be lackluster at best. (But don't worry, I will still find time to blog. I do have my priorities straight.)

After this class, my summer will quickly come to a close and reality will rear its ugly head. Until then, I am going to try to enjoy this week of adult conversation and interaction. Hopefully avoid homework at all costs. Perhaps walk away from the class with a sense of excitement about the new school year. And definitely make the most of the last few weeks of summer vacation.

Just when things were looking up...

I started seeing my ex, Starbucks, last week. Things were looking up. My drinks were usually right. And when they weren't, I grew some b@lls and sent them back. (Um, I have no idea why that is a link. I swear I haven't been googling balls. I hope it doesn't transform you to some shady balls material. Unless that's what you're looking for...then click right on over.)

As a matter of fact, things were going so well that he knew what I wanted before I even had a chance to order. These days it has been a grande, iced, non-fat raspberry mocha, no whip and 2 boxes of organic apple juice. I have to admit, I was hopeful that our relationship was back on track.

Then the bomb dropped.

MY Starbucks, the one built LAST YEAR, the only one within 30 miles of me...is closing. *sniff* That's the first time I have written it. Seeing it written out makes it even more real. I had heard the news stories of Starbucks closing over 600 stores. I wasn't surprised. There are like a hundred in the big cities. Oversaturation...I get it. But, MY STARBUCKS? In my tiny little town? The only Starbucks near me? I can't believe it.

I blame myself. I fear my temporary break-up had something to do with it. How else do you explain it? Sigh.

So for now, I am spending extraordinary amounts of money and consuming extraordinary amounts of extra calories to prepare myself for the bitter end.

Say what?! and a tag

I have some random funny things clogging up my brain that I must get out. Things I have heard or seen in the past week. Here they are for your reading pleasure.

*While taking my contact case out of the cabinet, Little Miss says, "Momma, are you taking out your Tic Tacs?"

*Little Miss exclaims, "Momma, I am drying my hair with the microwave," as she stands in front of the air conditioner.

*I go to pass a white company car on the interstate yesterday. The logo on the side of the car read, "Optometry Specialists." The driver? An 80+ year old man wearing the I just had cataract surgery glasses. WTH?!

*I overhear Tractor Boy yell to Little Miss, "I am going to kill you if you do that again!" I WHIP around to talk to him about how that isn't appropriate. Before I even get a word out, he leans down, grins, and whispers in my ear, "Don't worry, Momma. I not gonna kill her for reals."

*While talking about the fair, Little Miss exclaims, "I want to ride the steering wheel!"

*When dropping the kids off at the gym childcare center, Little Miss informs me, "Momma, I will be a good girl for the last time today."

AND, since I know you are dying for MORE about me...Tina tagged me for 6 random things. Here is the first set of random things I did...now let's see if I can come up with some more.

*When I was pregnant with the Boy, I developed carpal tunnel which is a really weird side effect of pregnancy. It never went away so as I type this, my thumbs are tingling and nearly dead. See the hardships I endure to write these posts?

*I recently discovered Edamame and wonder where it's been my whole life. I love it and now eat it all the time. Just plain with a bunch of salt. Mmmm, mmmmm.

*I have driven 6 cars since turning 16. 1/2 of them have been Honda Accords. Here they are (none of these are the actual car..just pics I borrowed from the Internet so the colors aren't necessarily accurate,but you get the idea.)

*I have never made a pie crust from scratch.

*My toenails are ALWAYS painted. Always. The only time they are bare are for a few seconds in between removing nail polish and reapplying polish.

*I secretly think I am going to win every contest Pioneer Woman has.

There! How's that for random? I am not going to tag anyone right now because I can no longer feel my thumbs. But if you have some random things you'd like to share...go for it!

Thursday Thirteen

We took a trip to the "big city" yesterday to go shopping. Just me and the kids. It went surprisingly well and for lunch...one of my favorite places. Here are thirteen things I love about Cheeseburger in Paradise.

1. Sweet potato chips

2. Mini hot dogs (The kids went crazy for these!)

3. The booths-They are huge and have little fencing on either side so it's very private especially when both kids are well, being kids...
4. Peach iced tea
5. Fried pickles

6. Very cute kids' coloring book and genuine Crayola crayons

7. Great service

8. Prices are very reasonable

9. It looks like a grain bin which made the Boy VERY excited to eat at the "farm restaurnaut" (He says it like a combination of restaurant and astronaut...it's very cute.)

10. Island quesadilla

11. Mini cheeseburgers

12. Atmosphere
13. Tropical drinks (I didn't have one at lunch yesterday with the kids...but oh man, are they good!)

Sorry about the spacing...Blogger is driving me insane this morning! More more great Thursday Thirteen lists, click here!

WFMW

I love the Redbox movie rentals. Do you know about these? We have a Redbox near our local McDonalds. You walk right up to it, find the movie of your choice, pay ONE DOLLAR! and you're on your way. One of the best features is that you can return it to any Redbox. So if you are driving an hour or two or 5 away...you can rent one for the ride there. Return it to any Redbox and pick up a new movie for the drive home.

We just took an hour drive to the "big city" to do some shopping and our Redbox movie kept the kids reasonably quiet the entire trip there and home. There's also a website with Redbox coupon codes here. I haven't used them yet, but plan to try them out when we return this movie tomorrow. So if you need a quick, cheap movie...give Redbox a try!

For other great tips, check out Rocks in my Dryer. Have a wonderful day!

Down on the Farm

There's nothing better than watching hot, sweaty farmers bale straw. So that's just what we did yesterday. The kids and I sat comfortably in the Gator (much to the Boy's dismay) sipping ice water and taking pictures.

The straw has already been harvested, as you can see. Now the tractor comes through the wind rows to make square bales. They used to have to throw the bales onto a wagon at this point. They've since gotten all fancy and have a little machine that arranges the bales into a tidy square and drops them onto the field, waiting to be picked up.

Here are the kids standing on one of the bale clusters. Right after this shot, the loader came screaming at us to pick this pile up. I've never seen Little Miss move so fast in her life to get back on my lap.

Next comes the empty wagon for the bales to be stacked. This is the part that used to be the most labor intensive (or so I hear.)

But thanks to this little contraption, the bales are easily picked up. The black thing on the loader has spikey grabbers (that is a technical term by the way) that curl into the bales to pick the bales up in a clump and set them on the wagon.

Now the tractor drives the wagon to the barn and the grabber puts them up into the hayloft where 5 VERY hot and VERY sweaty men stack them into place.

Meanwhile, the kids are busy feeding the cows. Yes, Little Miss is in the trough. No, she is not the food.

Notice the pink dress and flip flops. Always the fashionista...even when leaning on manure covered fences.

Here is Tractor Boy in his element. Since he couldn't be involved in the bale work, tending to the cows is the next best thing.

Please note the sensible farm attire on the Boy. I love this shot.

After a long hot day in the hay loft, Farm Guy came home and immediately disrobed down to his underwear. Sorry, no picture. I retired to the computer and went a little Scrapblog crazy.

Math Lesson

2 year old

+

banana

+

sink

=

this guy.

Actually it equaled a really disgusting clogged mess requiring the use of the plunger. But, if this guy had been available...