'Tis the Season

Nothing says Happy Holidays quite like gunfire in a toy store.

And what would Christmas be without morons wrestling each other to the ground for an XBOX?

And what about a man being trampled to death at Wal-Mart?

Really...isn't that what Christmas is all about?

Oh wait...it isn't?

You mean it's about celebrating the birthday of Jesus? And about showing peace, love, and goodwill to others?

Huh.

Half Past Jimmy Neutron

It's become apparent that we no longer have the need for clocks in our house. We now tell time based on what is on TV. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Wubbzy's on! Time to get the kids up!

Magic School Bus is over? Time to head to daycare!

Maggie and the Ferocious Beast? Weekend! Lunchtime!

Blue's Clues is already on?! Crap! Supper's late!

Max and Ruby? Bathtime!

Max and Ruby's over?! Quick! Change the channel before Dora comes on...it's Claire's bedtime!

First commercial during Spongebob? Goodnight, Cole!

Am I the only one who does this?!

So far this Saturday...

1. Little Miss and I got up super early (before 6.)
2. I cleaned up the house, got laundry going, cleaned up the kitchen.
3. Got everyone dressed. Well, I let my husband dress himself this time.
4. Left the house at 8:30 to go Christmas shopping.
5. Hit Starbucks in the next town over. Love you, Peppermint Mocha!
6. Went to Super Target.
7. Heard Cole scream, "A clock, a clock, a REAL LIVE CLOCK!" Now...that doesn't sound too interesting until you take all the l sounds out. Go ahead. Yell that with no ls at the top of your lungs in Target and see if you don't get a few looks. And in my defense, he has seen a clock before...this one happened to be a Cuckoo clock. A big deal, apparently.
8. Shopped a few more stores.
9. Watched a moron drive into traffic leaving a parking lot. Went all the way through the drive into oncoming traffic, then turned RIGHT across 6 lanes of traffic from the wrong direction. Wanna guess what she was driving? A BUICK!!
10. Went to Chick-Fil-A for the FIRST time. I love you, Chick-Fil-A. Not only did you serve Diet Dr. Pepper, but your kind cashier brought our tray of delicious lunch to us, you had cow Pez dispensers, your french fries are the B-O-M-B, and the play area?! When can we move in?

Now I am seriously considering putting up the Christmas tree...if I decide to get out of this chair and quit drinking coffee, that is.

Best Holiday Movies

In the past 6 years, I have seen 1.5 movies at the theater. The last movie the husband and I saw at a movie theater? Austin Powers Goldmember.

I will give you a minute to quit laughing and/or google the movie to find the release date.

Yeah. July 2002. Pathetic, I know.

Then there was Cole's first movie this summer. I took him to see Kung Fu Panda. We left about halfway through the movie when he became bored.


But, I do love watching movies...especially holiday movies. Here is the list of my Top 5 Favorite Holiday Movies. (See how I capitalized that to make it seem very important and official?)

5. Scrooged. This is a rude, inappropriate, sarcastic take on the original Scrooge. It's a must see, especially if you are a fan of Bill Murray, as I am.

4. Jingle All The Way. I am slightly embarrassed to admit that this is one of my favorite holiday movies. For some reason I can't watch it enough. Arnold? Not the best actor. I think the reason is probably Sinbad. I do love some Sinbad. He is hilarious in this movie about trying to get the "it" toy gift of the season.
3. A Christmas Story. This has become a tradition around here on Christmas Eve. TBS starts playing it Christmas Eve night and goes 24 hours straight. If you've never seen it..really, where have you been?

2. Home for the Holidays. This was a tough decision between movie 1 and 2. Holly Hunter is just about the best thing ever. And Robert Downey, Jr? Fan.tastic. They are super funny in this dysfunctional family movie. The gay brother, anal sister, sex-having daughter...it's got it all. If you haven't seen it, get it this weekend. Really...you won't be sorry.


1. Christmas Vacation. Not a year goes by that we don't watch this movie. It is the funniest Christmas movie. We quote it constantly. Some of my favorite quotes from the movie:

"Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber."

"Do you sleep with your brother? Do you know how sick and twisted that is?...Well, I'm sleeping with your father. Don't be so dramatic."

"Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah."

If you have somehow missed any of these movies, check them out this weekend. You won't be sorry. What about you? Did I leave off your favorite holiday movie? Is there something I need to rent this weekend?

It's officially cold...

and I LOVE it. The high today was 37 and it's supposed to get down to 22 tonight! There have even been flurries the past few days. Woo hoo! I love winter and everything that comes with it. One of my favorite things about winter is being able to curl up in a sweatshirt and jammie pants, and still be comfortable enough to cuddle up under a blanket.

I love baking cookies and drinking hot cocoa. Well, the kids and husband drink the hot cocoa...I have coffee.

I don't do a lot of decorating for Christmas, but I love putting out all my snowmen around the house. I am looking forward to getting help decorating the tree this year. We have a tall (9ft), skinny-ish artificial tree that goes in the corner of the living room. We always put it up the weekend of Thanksgiving. I love having it up early, but I take it down the day or two right after Christmas. Once it's over...it's over.

We don't put outdoor lights up, but I LOVE driving around looking at the lights. We have already found a few houses with lights up!

I love playing in the snow with the kids and watching the guys drive the tractor around shoveling snow from the driveway.

Then there's a little something called Christmas Break! As much as I love teaching and going to work everyday, those 2 weeks off are so fantastic. It's a great time to relax after the holidays, get some bargains at after Christmas sales, and just chill out with the fam.

What's your favorite thing about winter? The snow? The tree? The fact that it will be over soon?!

Super Sunday

What do you get when you cross 1 mom, 2 kids, 35 degree temperatures, and 5.5 hours of shopping?

A surprisingly pleasant day!

The kids and I left the house at 9:30 determined to find a pair of wedding shoes. We hit Kohls first, tried on about 20 pairs with no luck. But, I did find a casual pair of school shoes on clearance for $13.00.

Next stop: Target. We were there for.ever. Have you seen the shoes at Target lately? One word-puke.

No such shoe luck for me...although Little Miss did walk away with a cute new pair of tennis shoes.

Don't think I left Cole out. For enduring nearly 6 hours of agonizing shoe shopping, he was rewarded handsomely with a Catepillar (shhhhh...don't tell Daddy!) loader.

After Target we stopped at Starbucks for my second peppermint mocha of the season. Oh, how I love those red cups.

From there we went to TJ Maxx. I tried on a zillion pair of shoes. Mostly casual shoes, not wedding shoes. I fell in LOVE with a pair of casual pumps. I put them on, took 2 steps and

FELL ON MY FACE.

That's right. I completely fell, landed on my knees. Hurt so bad but I was up faster than you can imagine. Little Miss said, "That's okay, Mommy. One time I fell down when I was 2." The damn security tag had gotten under my heel and I went down hard. Needless to say, that pretty much ended our TJ Maxx shopping. And I left without the fall inducing shoes...

Next stop? Some random Shoe Biz store that was having a "Store Closing" sale. After going in, I know why. That trip took all of 5 minutes.

With a McDonald's in sight...we headed for lunch. We ate quickly, then headed to the kid playing area. It would have been tolerable had it not been about 100 degrees. The kids did play air hockey with a "big kid."

After lunch, I was getting desperate. I had looked everywhere for shoes and was getting frustrated. The only store left in the town was Sears. I know...I wasn't even going to go but I figured I might as well.

Jackpot!

We ran in and found the "dressy" shoe display. I immediately grabbed 4 pair and asked the sales lady for my size. Not only did I find wedding shoes, but I also bought 2 more! They were all on sale AND there was a buy 2, get 1 free promotion. Actually, when I went to pay that promotion had ended yesterday, but since the sign was still posted I got the deal. I got ALL 3 pair of shoes for $50.00!

Combine those with the Kohl's pair and the Dora tennis shoes...

and I spent just over $70.00 for all 5 pair! Woo hoo! (The wedding shoes are the second pair from the left.)

When we finally got home, we settled in with hot cocoa and made some sugar cookies.

Hope your weekend was as fantastic as ours!

I've been elfed

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Just your average Monday evening

Just when I thought I wasn't going to have anything to blog about tonight, my husband came in and said this.And then I looked out the window and saw this.

He was burning the remnants of an old building we had taken down. However, at one point the fire was about 3 times this big.
That's when I heard the sirens and saw this fly into our driveway.
Followed shortly by his friend, the other fire truck.

And no emergency would be complete without a police officer.

Apparently they were getting calls from all over the county from housing additions nearby, to passers-by on the interstate, to employees from nearby factories. They all thought the barn was on fire. Many thought the entire farm was going up in smoke.

Nope...just my husband trying to burn an old building. At night. In the 30 degree wind. On ground that hasn't had rain in 2 months. That's all.

When the fire fighters arrived, my husband was casually standing near the fire with a 2.5 gallon bucket of water in his hand. One (of the six!) firemen walked up and asked, "Everything under control around here?"

My husband looked at him surprisingly and said, "Well, yes...why?"

They had a good laugh. The fireman asked him to call and notify the sheriff's department next time he was going to try burning the place down so they knew how to handle the dozens of phone calls they were getting in.

The kids and I watched in amusement with the dogs while the fire trucks left. One of the fire fighters jokingly asked me as they were driving off, "Do you want to come with us?"

It was tempting.

Can you handle the random?

It's been a few days and I have lot to share. Ready?!

My sister stayed with us Friday night. Hubby and I went out to dinner with my cousin and her husband. Had a great meal and even better pina coladas at their house. Then the salad bar gave me major heart burn and we had to leave.

The kids marvel at Aunt Susie's long hair and love to help her brush it. Well, Claire loves to brush it. Cole said, "Susie, you need a haircut!" and then he immediately put something to her head. She freaked for a second thinking it was scissors. Luckily it was just a plastic saw. Cole liked "brushing" it with random tools. She had her second wedding shower yesterday. She got LOTS of fantastic gifts and had PLENTY of help opening them.
The kids were very well behaved and played nicely with the niece-in-law. She's a downtown Chicago city girl so she really hasn't had much experience playing with so much farm equipment. Cole and Claire were eager to teach her.


The kids brought along Mr. Potato head to play in the car. They decided to become Potato Head kids.

Jackie the Cow is evil. My Starbucks closed Friday. *moment of silence* The kids and I ran in after school to get my last drink. A BIG drink. I didn't have any on the ride home. I wanted to savor and enjoy every last drop. I was carrying stuff from the car into the house and left the car door open. When my sister pulled in, Jackie ran out of the car. The entire VENTI cup of coffee was empty. It had spilled all over my new car. The car we do not eat nor drink in. The car I obsessively keep clean. It got on the floor mat, floor board, my TENNIS SHOES, and the seat. I was SO mad. My sister cleaned it up for me and doesn't smell like pumpkin spice latte anymore. Thanks, Fart.

Jose is always cold. It's a blustery 39 degrees here today. He shivers when he isn't under a blanket. Grandma thought this poncho might make him feel better. He didn't mind wearing it at all. Might have to invest in a sweater for him. Sheesh. I NEVER thought I would own a dog that required a sweater.

The other day I was busy. Okay, I was on the computer but I am SURE it was important work. Little Miss asked me if she could have yogurt. I muttered, "Yes." Then she came out with 4 containers of yogurt, all opened, with a spoon in each one...very pleased with herself. Me? Not as pleased.

I am enjoying a lazy Sunday. We had breakfast at a new little diner this morning. I picked up a little bit, got some laundry done. We ran errands. Now I am going to make a pot of chili and soak in a bubble bath. I am sure I will have an audience.

Oh, and I changed things up around here. Whatcha think?

Mouse Tale

This morning I went into the bathroom to take a shower. I pulled back the shower curtain and found this in my bathtub.

A mouse. A real live for real mouse. In my bathtub frantically trying to get out. It would run up the side of the tub and slide back down. Apparently not a lot of traction on mouse feet. I freaked out, ran into the family room and grabbed the nearest killing machine.I grabbed Noodles, threw her into the bathroom, and slammed the door shut before she even know what was going on. I waited a minute, heard a few squeaks, and slowly opened the door.

She ran out with the mouse in her mouth. Hooray! Good kitty!

Then she dropped the mouse and it ran into the toys.

Sonofa! Bad kitty!

Jose and Bear joined in the search for the mouse. It was behind a bunch of toy tractors and a basket full of more toy tractors. At this point I was standing on the toilet in the other bathroom trying to put my makeup on all the while keeping an eye on the situation. My husband got down and started moving the toys out of the way.

Suddenly the mouse ran INSIDE the recliner. It out ran 2 dogs and a cat. I was still standing on the toilet sweating my makeup right off as my head was about 6 inches from the light.

Then Jose made his way under the recliner and chased the mouse out. Noodles grabbed it! Hooray! Good kitty!

She immediately drops it and the mouse runs under the couch.

Sonofa! Bad kitty!

At this point the kids were waking up and it was time to get them dressed and ready for daycare.

I am really hoping my husband and/or Noodles and/or Jose took care of the mouse after we left. Otherwise, I will spend the majority of my evening standing on furniture squealing like a city girl.

I'm John Deere Mom and I approve this message

I am the least political person you'd meet. But, I do have my opinion and will proudly vote this Tuesday.

However, if a certain presidential candidate calls me past 9:00 p.m. or on Sunday morning again...I might just have to change my vote.

That's all I'm saying.